Babies, babies and more babies.

Baby Fever. Do I have it? I am not sure. Somedays I think that I do, and somedays I think that I have been cured.

We have been surrounded by a flood of new babies lately. My sister had a baby a few weeks ago. One of my best friends from college had a baby in April, and another good college friend is due in June. The pregnant women at church seem to be coming out of the woodwork, and a baseball friend has a delicious brand new baby that Keith and I playfully fight over at each of Noah's baseball games.

(here is Vivian the day she came home from the hospital)

There is just something about a newborn. The tiny flailing limbs. The callus on the upper lip, The smell, ohh the smell! I love the smell of a newborn. The way a newborn cuddles up and sleeps on your chest for hours at a time. I was made for newborns. Some people dread the newborn stage and all of the sleepless nights that are part of the package. Although I love my sleep as much as the next person, if it means I get a newborn, I would gladly be sleep deprived for months on end.

As Vivian rounds the corner to her 2nd Birthday, the subject of a baby is becoming more and more frequent in our house. For the first time in my life, I waffle back and forth. Should we or shouldn't we? I think Keith is ready. I am blessed with a hubby who loves babies and children as much as I do. The kids all talk about having another baby. In fact, Noah pointed out the other night that we should keep the changing table handy because "babies come about every 3 years in our house." I think the only person who does not really want another baby is Eliza. She wants a puppy instead.

Although I love babies, the idea of having another causes me to worry about things. First and foremost, pregnancies are hard on me. I have severe morning sickness that basically leaves me incapacitated for months on end. Sickness that involves weight loss, hospital trips for IV fluids, home IV care, round the clock medication, and utter turmoil on our lives at home. I could write an entire book on the difficulties of having HG and the depression that I experienced as a result. But, at the end of the day, it was always worth it. However, I don't know if I have it in me to go through that again.

I also worry about lesser things like finances, space, time, and the potential status as AMA (Advanced Maternal Age) and all the risks that come along with it.

But then I just think about that newborn, and . . . worries, what worries?